One month FREE!
One month ago today, Toby walked out of the orphanage gates forever.
One month ago today, he wore matching pajamas with his brothers and was prayed over and tucked in by his Mama for the first time.
What a month! It actually seems like Toby has been with us for much longer than 30 days. It hasn't been an easy month, but it hasn't been a terrible month. We knew this wouldn't be easy - and we know that Christ has not called us to an easy life.
But this last week was pretty wonderful. Something changed in Toby - he seemed to finally have a sort of peace and happiness about him. He woke up each morning smiling and ready to give me a good morning hug and start his day, rather than beginning the day by complaining. He has learned to share and play better with his brothers and control his frustration when baby Joe takes a toy or knocks over a Lego structure he is working on. He has learned to say, "May I please be excused?" at the end of the meal and has learned what it means to do chores as part of a family.
Something has changed - but not just in Toby. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the precious friends and family who have been praying for us fervently as we go through this transition period. But suddenly, I'm falling back in love with the boy who captured my heart from a photograph I saw on July 3rd. I saw glimpses of him this week...I saw past the outward grumpiness, past the anger and saw my beautiful boy....I really saw him. And I finally felt like we were doing more than just treading water in this sea of transition.
We know there will continue to be adjustments and hurdles and challenges, but God keeps providing the grace we need to get through those with LOVE.
Today we decided to celebrate our one month anniversary of Toby's freedom! First, we watched an afternoon movie and had popcorn.
Then, Josh took the older three boys sledding - a favorite past time when Dad is home!
I made borscht and varenyky and cucumber tomato salad with sour cream for dinner and we had a cherry pie for dessert with whipped cream - Toby's request! We lit a candle and put a special table cloth on the table. When I told him why, his eyes got big and he said, "It is like a holiday!" He then solemnly asked, "And after two months? What happens then?" He was obviously worried and we know he needs constant reassurance that we are his family FOREVER. Many people threatened that he would have to come back to Ukraine if he didn't behave in America, so we know it is a constant fear of his. I said, "We'll celebrate again!" Josh and I told him tonight at dinner that he is OURS forever. He will never have to go back to Ukraine unless we go on a vacation one day. He will never return to the orphanage. This is his home and he is our son.
When I tuck him in at night, he always turns up his face and asks for "thousands of kisses" - and I happily oblige and kiss him lightly all over his face. Tonight he said, "Thousands of kisses...and will I be here for a thousand months?" Yes, my boy! "And what happens after a thousand months?" Then another thousand months! He smiled, content, and rolled over and fell asleep within minutes. (He also told me my shampooed hair smelled good, "...like chewing gum..."!)
We are seeing our boy blossom. It is happening a little each day and it is a beautiful and wondrous thing to behold. And it is exhausting and draining and sometimes I feel like I just want to disappear for a few hours. But God is doing something marvelous. This is what adoption is about. This is what happens when we fully realize that we are FOREVER His! We can be at peace. We can rest in that assurance and trust His love for us.
Thank you for praying for us!
What a month! It actually seems like Toby has been with us for much longer than 30 days. It hasn't been an easy month, but it hasn't been a terrible month. We knew this wouldn't be easy - and we know that Christ has not called us to an easy life.
But this last week was pretty wonderful. Something changed in Toby - he seemed to finally have a sort of peace and happiness about him. He woke up each morning smiling and ready to give me a good morning hug and start his day, rather than beginning the day by complaining. He has learned to share and play better with his brothers and control his frustration when baby Joe takes a toy or knocks over a Lego structure he is working on. He has learned to say, "May I please be excused?" at the end of the meal and has learned what it means to do chores as part of a family.
Something has changed - but not just in Toby. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the precious friends and family who have been praying for us fervently as we go through this transition period. But suddenly, I'm falling back in love with the boy who captured my heart from a photograph I saw on July 3rd. I saw glimpses of him this week...I saw past the outward grumpiness, past the anger and saw my beautiful boy....I really saw him. And I finally felt like we were doing more than just treading water in this sea of transition.
We know there will continue to be adjustments and hurdles and challenges, but God keeps providing the grace we need to get through those with LOVE.
Today we decided to celebrate our one month anniversary of Toby's freedom! First, we watched an afternoon movie and had popcorn.
Then, Josh took the older three boys sledding - a favorite past time when Dad is home!
I made borscht and varenyky and cucumber tomato salad with sour cream for dinner and we had a cherry pie for dessert with whipped cream - Toby's request! We lit a candle and put a special table cloth on the table. When I told him why, his eyes got big and he said, "It is like a holiday!" He then solemnly asked, "And after two months? What happens then?" He was obviously worried and we know he needs constant reassurance that we are his family FOREVER. Many people threatened that he would have to come back to Ukraine if he didn't behave in America, so we know it is a constant fear of his. I said, "We'll celebrate again!" Josh and I told him tonight at dinner that he is OURS forever. He will never have to go back to Ukraine unless we go on a vacation one day. He will never return to the orphanage. This is his home and he is our son.
When I tuck him in at night, he always turns up his face and asks for "thousands of kisses" - and I happily oblige and kiss him lightly all over his face. Tonight he said, "Thousands of kisses...and will I be here for a thousand months?" Yes, my boy! "And what happens after a thousand months?" Then another thousand months! He smiled, content, and rolled over and fell asleep within minutes. (He also told me my shampooed hair smelled good, "...like chewing gum..."!)
We are seeing our boy blossom. It is happening a little each day and it is a beautiful and wondrous thing to behold. And it is exhausting and draining and sometimes I feel like I just want to disappear for a few hours. But God is doing something marvelous. This is what adoption is about. This is what happens when we fully realize that we are FOREVER His! We can be at peace. We can rest in that assurance and trust His love for us.
Thank you for praying for us!
You are such an amazing person, Kamie! I am beyond thrilled to hear that you're seeing some fundamental changes. You can tell by his questions that he's just waiting for the gig to be up and to be returned to the orphanage. What a horrible fear to have to live with daily. I'd certainly be a miserable, grumpy person too! As those fears are laid to rest, he is going to become more and more relaxed, appreciative, and overall wonderful. Your patience with his transition is so inspiring. I LOVE reading your updates, and I'll be following this journey (aka your life) for as long as I can. I am so happy for all of you; you make my heart full. I will continue to pray for you all. Lots of love! <3
ReplyDeleteSo sweet to be witness to all these wonderful changes. I tend to think we, too need reassurance sometimes. In our bad days or angry moments do we really trust that our Father still loves us?? I know He does but my heart wants that reassurance at times. Prayers continue before the Throne of Heaven for you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend, for continuing to give us updates, even though some days it's yet another thing to do. I wish I had long blog posts or updates for you to read in return! Our family loves yours and you're in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteKami, I'm so glad that God brought you into my life (if even for a short time). The few times I visited you, I was truly blessed. I can't even imagine how Toby feels...how he's processing this all (the love, grace, mercy). I wish I had a mother like you. But now is my opportunity to mother my children the way I wanted to be mothered. Your updates are so encouraging and uplifting! I love you, Kami and hope to have the pleasure and honor or visiting with you in the near future. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteYour blog and family is so inspiring! Prayers for your family and of course Toby :)
ReplyDelete