A son for ONE MONTH!
Today is the one month anniversary of Toby becoming our son!
It has been a LONG month. So much has happened. I know people have hoped for more updates, but truthfully - I am so deep in the trenches of adjusting to our new normal - I can hardly find the words to express myself. And some things just need to be discussed with the Lord alone. Big things are continuing to happen in our family, in Toby and in our hearts as individuals.
We have some very, very good days! Happy days! Moments where we see Toby express pure joy and we can rejoice and say, "Yes! This is what we were imagining when we began this process!" Days like yesterday, when we all went sledding before Josh went back to work and before we started back up with homeschooling today. It was awesome!
And then we have some very, very hard days. Lots of adjusting. We try to focus on the small victories each day. How Toby now says things like, "May I please be excused?" when he gets up from the dining room table. How he thanks me after each meal. How he has been able to show some self control when 2-year old Joe takes one of the toys he is playing with. But there are many more hard moments that don't seem like victories at all. He is an angry, angry kid. He has almost 11 years of abandonment to come to terms with in his heart. He is learning to understand our household rules and to do what Mama and Papa expect of him. But it will not be until Christ breaks through the pain and hardness and darkness that we will ever truly see a huge change. That is what we pray for every day.
As I've mentioned before, our boy has a general spirit of discontent. He complains about everything. But I think part of this really is a defensive tactic to protect his heart from being too happy and then being disappointed. He has to learn to trust us....to trust that this isn't going away. But we do have to teach him to be grateful. It is actually a skill we ALL need to learn to develop! So it is a good reminder to us. It is also a reminder of how much God loves us. This is human nature. He gives us EVERYTHING - even His own Son to die for our sins - and we grumble and complain. The children of Israel left 400 years of slavery in Egypt and within days were complaining and wishing to go back. How fiercely God must love us in the face of our discontent!
Toby shows tremendous potential and he has many, many great qualities. He is quick to ask for forgiveness after he has wronged someone. He learns very, very quickly and usually does not repeat the safe offense twice. He responds really well to affection and unconditional love. We are praying he allows himself to just be a boy - to loosen up and just be a kid who has parents to worry about him and care for him. I think he's been doing these things for himself for so long, he does seem like a tired old man. The other night he ran a low fever and felt a little sick. He said, "Don't worry, Mama. It is probably because I was playing in the snow. I'll just go to bed early and stay in bed and I will be fine." I had to tell him that I am his Mama now and Mama's take care of sick boys. I helped him take a warm bath, get in cozy jammies, gave him some Tylenol and orange juice, rubbed some oils on his feet and tucked him in. He's never been able to just BE A BOY! That is what all these kids miss when they live life in an orphanage - a true childhood. That is what we are trying to make up for!
Today we started back up with homeschooling. We are taking things slowly and focusing mostly on English for Toby. He really loved having a worksheet to do and took lots of time to make his letter A's perfect. He memorized the days of the week in English and the letters A-G within a few minutes. He is picking up English quickly! Then we did some play dough activities and went outside for TWO hours of snow play! The snow is melting a bit now, so it is perfect snowball and snowman making weather! All four boys just thrive being outdoors.
We continue to take one day at a time, trusting God to give us the grace we need for each day. It is not easy. But God never called us to do what was easy. He called us to follow His will and trust Him for the grace and wisdom to do it! Please continue to pray for us! Please know that even though I may not be able to update regularly, things are happening! Toby is growing and learning....and we are, too. Pray for our other boys to continue to adjust well to having a new big brother. Pray for Toby's heart to soften more each day until he knows he can trust the Lord and his family to love him forever. Pray for us to have patience in the rough moments. God is faithful. He sets the solitary in families...and then He gives those families all they need to love like He does! We are trusting Him for that!!
It has been a LONG month. So much has happened. I know people have hoped for more updates, but truthfully - I am so deep in the trenches of adjusting to our new normal - I can hardly find the words to express myself. And some things just need to be discussed with the Lord alone. Big things are continuing to happen in our family, in Toby and in our hearts as individuals.
We have some very, very good days! Happy days! Moments where we see Toby express pure joy and we can rejoice and say, "Yes! This is what we were imagining when we began this process!" Days like yesterday, when we all went sledding before Josh went back to work and before we started back up with homeschooling today. It was awesome!
And then we have some very, very hard days. Lots of adjusting. We try to focus on the small victories each day. How Toby now says things like, "May I please be excused?" when he gets up from the dining room table. How he thanks me after each meal. How he has been able to show some self control when 2-year old Joe takes one of the toys he is playing with. But there are many more hard moments that don't seem like victories at all. He is an angry, angry kid. He has almost 11 years of abandonment to come to terms with in his heart. He is learning to understand our household rules and to do what Mama and Papa expect of him. But it will not be until Christ breaks through the pain and hardness and darkness that we will ever truly see a huge change. That is what we pray for every day.
As I've mentioned before, our boy has a general spirit of discontent. He complains about everything. But I think part of this really is a defensive tactic to protect his heart from being too happy and then being disappointed. He has to learn to trust us....to trust that this isn't going away. But we do have to teach him to be grateful. It is actually a skill we ALL need to learn to develop! So it is a good reminder to us. It is also a reminder of how much God loves us. This is human nature. He gives us EVERYTHING - even His own Son to die for our sins - and we grumble and complain. The children of Israel left 400 years of slavery in Egypt and within days were complaining and wishing to go back. How fiercely God must love us in the face of our discontent!
Toby shows tremendous potential and he has many, many great qualities. He is quick to ask for forgiveness after he has wronged someone. He learns very, very quickly and usually does not repeat the safe offense twice. He responds really well to affection and unconditional love. We are praying he allows himself to just be a boy - to loosen up and just be a kid who has parents to worry about him and care for him. I think he's been doing these things for himself for so long, he does seem like a tired old man. The other night he ran a low fever and felt a little sick. He said, "Don't worry, Mama. It is probably because I was playing in the snow. I'll just go to bed early and stay in bed and I will be fine." I had to tell him that I am his Mama now and Mama's take care of sick boys. I helped him take a warm bath, get in cozy jammies, gave him some Tylenol and orange juice, rubbed some oils on his feet and tucked him in. He's never been able to just BE A BOY! That is what all these kids miss when they live life in an orphanage - a true childhood. That is what we are trying to make up for!
Today we started back up with homeschooling. We are taking things slowly and focusing mostly on English for Toby. He really loved having a worksheet to do and took lots of time to make his letter A's perfect. He memorized the days of the week in English and the letters A-G within a few minutes. He is picking up English quickly! Then we did some play dough activities and went outside for TWO hours of snow play! The snow is melting a bit now, so it is perfect snowball and snowman making weather! All four boys just thrive being outdoors.
We continue to take one day at a time, trusting God to give us the grace we need for each day. It is not easy. But God never called us to do what was easy. He called us to follow His will and trust Him for the grace and wisdom to do it! Please continue to pray for us! Please know that even though I may not be able to update regularly, things are happening! Toby is growing and learning....and we are, too. Pray for our other boys to continue to adjust well to having a new big brother. Pray for Toby's heart to soften more each day until he knows he can trust the Lord and his family to love him forever. Pray for us to have patience in the rough moments. God is faithful. He sets the solitary in families...and then He gives those families all they need to love like He does! We are trusting Him for that!!
Lots of prayers for Toby and your family!
ReplyDelete2 Timothy 1:7
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”