Almost home...

I apologize for my lack of updates!  As I'm sure you can imagine, being alone with four busy boys, traveling to Kiev and trying to get all the paperwork done for Toby's visa has left me with very little spare time.

On Tuesday the 15th, we picked up the court decree and George and Joe came along for the drive to Toby's birth city, while Jack stayed behind with the Kayser family.  It ended up being a 13-hour day in the car and we were all just exhausted.  We are so grateful for Irina, who is just a powerhouse when it comes to getting things done for her families!  As we drove the hour and a half or so to his birth city, the fields reminded us just of Ohio!  Even George said it looked like Ohio!  The little boys did a great job for being contained in a small space for so long.

On Wednesday, we had another long drive ahead of us, so I left all three of the boys with the Kaysers.  They have been such a huge answer to prayer and the timing of their own adoption visit to Krivoy Rog was just perfect.  I had worried so much about what to do with the boys on our paper chase days.  God provided in a wonderful way and we now have new family friends!  On this trip, we picked up Toby from the orphanage to come along for the passport application in Dnipropetrovsk. He was so excited...he actually did a little happy dance when he saw me and the nanny prepared him for our trip.  A lot of these kiddos get terrible motion sickness, so they gave me a bucket and washcloths just in case.  I also had Kids Dramamine with me and gave him a tablet at the beginning of our trip, but he had no issues at all!

I loved seeing him look out at the countryside of his birth.  He asked so many questions about Ukraine and about the big city of Dnipropetrovsk and the Dnieper River.  I told him, "This is your country.  We will never forget that this is a special place for you and for our family."  We were little disappointed at the passport office to learn that there is a new step involved in the process which could delay us by a day or two.  But we are praying that God will continue to move mountains to get this paperwork done quickly so we have his visa before Christmas!

On the ride home, his enthusiasm waned.  He is a 10 year old boy full of energy, and he was just plane bored.  I had the iPad, we played Tic-Tac-Toe, I tried to get him to look at the big English Picture Dictionary I have for him...but he wasn't very interested.

We got back into Krivoy Rog at about 6pm and picked up the boys, who had all done very well with the Kaysers.  And then for the first time, I went "home" with my four boys.  As they all piled out of the car, I had a brief moment of panic and asked Irina, "Can I do this?"  She said "Of course you can!"

Toby loved the apartment and wanted to explore every inch of it.  He turned knobs, opened drawers, inspected every cabinet and the refrigerator.  He'd never even really been in a kitchen before, so everything was new to him.  Within 10 minutes, the floor was covered with Legos, Army men, Angry Birds, blocks and super heroes.  Sigh.  Life with four busy boys has begun!!

Toby loves to take a bath.  He spent about an hour in the tub, as happy as can be.  But he did share with me as I ran the water that I needed to be careful...he said he had hot water burn his skin and he had soap burn his eyes.  I told him we would only have warm water and soap that would not make his eyes burn.  After bathtime, all four boys were in matching pajamas and so, so happy.  This was a moment I had pictured in my mind many times.

They were all wound up a bit, so we didn't go to bed until about 10:30.  Toby and Jack slept on the bunk beds and Toby stayed up until past midnight.  He was up at about 6am and came into my room and saw that my blanket had slipped off, so he covered me back up.  He is such a protector.  (By the way, his name Sergei actually means "shepherd/protector"- so fitting!)

The next day was long.  We had a nice morning together and I even took all four boys to the small grocery store near us.  Toby had never been in a store before, so he was really full of wonder.  I think a lot of other people were full of wonder seeing a mom with FOUR boys in the store!  Later in the afternoon, we had a few errands to do which should have taken only an hour or so, but ended up leaving us in the car for about FIVE HOURS.  The boys were so restless.  We had planned to say our goodbyes at the orphanage, but had to wait until all of the children had finished their naps, which delayed us significantly.  We found a park to play in while we waited for final passport documents to be done, and then we returned to the orphanage one last time.

I knew it was so important for Toby to be able to say goodbye and have closure.  When we found the director, he hugged her and said, "Thank you for finding me a Mama and a Papa and brothers."  Wow!  Everyone had tears in their eyes!

Then we went to the Groupa room with the last few remaining orphans.  I was so, so happy to get a chance to love on some of them and take pictures so that I can advocate for them!  (Stay tuned for that post!)  Toby also hugged on them and gave them small stuffed animals and wooden cars, and we went next door to the other room where his good friend Kiril is.  He gave gifts and said his goodbyes there, too.

Then we went to the Groupa that he has been part of as an older kid, though it is made up of children who have parents and are just at the special needs school during the week.  He said goodbye to his favorite nanny there and to his friends.

And then, we walked through those gates for the last time.

Toby - orphan no more!  Beloved son and brother and grandson and nephew and cousin!

We returned to our apartment to have a quick dinner and pack up the rest of our things.  Our sweet friend Juliana also came over to say goodbye.  She has become very special to us and we will miss her so much!

Then Igor and Irina came to take us to the train station.  They loaded us into our cabin and began to say goodbye.  And I cried.  I cried because a part of my heart was being left with them and with our friends in Krivoy Rog.  And I cried because the thought of getting these boys home by myself was suddenly more than I could handle.  Irina...our sweet Irina...she cried, too as she said goodbye to each of my boys and to me, and even Igor choked up and gave me a big bear hug!

The boys were ECSTATIC to be on the night train!  I got their beds all made up, we had a snack, made trips to the bathroom and they finally fell asleep by about 11:00.  They were so wound up.

Toby did not fall asleep for a while longer.  I held his hand and talked with him as he looked out the window at his country.  When he began to rock himself to sleep, I prayed over him and sang to him and put my hand on his chest and he calmed and fell asleep.  We awoke at about 4:45 when the "provodnitsa" knocked on our door and said we had about 30 minutes until the train was arriving in Kiev.  Oh it was hard to waked up the littlest boys!  They were deeply asleep and fought me as I put their clothes back on and rolled up their bedding.  Vitaly met us in the train and helped carry our luggage out.  The trip to his car was really hard.  I was holding Joe in my left arm, who was crying because he was so miserable at being woken up so early.  I had a suitcase in my right hand and George holding onto me.  Vitaly made one trip up the three flights of stairs with me and we had to leave Jack at the bottom with the other suitcase...it was a madhouse.  Joe was crying, refusing to go in the stoller, George was complaining about how tired he was, Toby was complaining....I was exhausted....and that was just the beginning of our rough day.

We got to our apartment and rested a bit before Vitaly returned to get us for Toby's medical exam and TB test.  The wait for both was in a crowded medical center and all four boys nearly lost their minds with boredom.  I knew to expect this kind of thing when we chose to bring the boys along.  But the reality of it when we've just been on a night train and the boys are exhausted and cranky was almost too much to bear.  We finally got out of there around 2pm and I needed to stop at a grocery store.  I hoped that Vitaly would just stop at a store and let me run in, but he said the mega market would be better and he would help me with the boys.

It was a disaster.  It was way too stimulating for Toby and he had a look of panic at one point when he became surrounded by strangers in the busy store.  I had to rescue him and keep him close by me the rest of the time.  The other boys all went in other directions as well.   It was awful.  I wanted to disappear.  When we finally got home, I didn't want to leave that building for DAYS!  I felt completely undone.

But the Lord is gracious and supplies just the right amount of rest and encouragement and strength to face one more day.  All four boys slept for twelve hours that night and I got almost as much rest.  The next morning we hung close to home, Toby learned how to make scrambled eggs (which he now wants to make every morning) and we rested.  Later in the day, we took a walk and realized it was St. Nicholas Day!  And what a celebration was going on just around the corner from our apartment building!

We planned to meet another American mother, Sarah, near "souvenir alley".  Jack had been waiting to use his birthday money to spend on a Soviet military hat he had spotted on our first stay in Kiev.  And Toby picked out a small wooden box that he loves to keep right with him to hold all his little treasures.  It was kind of fun picking out some souvenirs and having the vendors help us and talk about my beautiful boys and even give us some free gifts for the boys.  There was a lot of support when they heard we had adopted Toby!

Our peaceful day came to a close and a turbulent one followed.  We awoke this morning to find that both Jack and George have developed some sort of stomach bug.  They've been sick all day and just look miserable.  Toby has been bouncing off the wall with energy since he doesn't have his normal buddies to rough house around with.  Thankfully, our new friend Sarah made it back to our apartment and was just an amazing help to me.  She actually just stepped right in to clean up throw up without even a second thought.

Moments before she arrived, I was in the bedroom with George and I heard Jack and Toby scream, "No, JOE!!!!"  I came running out to see Joe standing on our fourth floor window sill and he had figured out how to open the window completely.   No screen to stop him.  Nothing but God's hand of protection to have stopped him from falling four stories.  This broke me.  I know he is safe now, but I just feel like I can't take one more thing.  Just when we are at our lowest, though, the Lord rushes in to be our comfort and our refuge.  I found that today in my new friendship with Sarah.  She is a seasoned mom of 7 (soon to be 8) kids, six of them boys who have probably given her even more heart attacks than my boys have!  She has been the perfect person to help me and encourage me!

Yesterday was our first Embassy appointment and the reading of Toby's TB test.  Praise the Lord for a negative TB result!  No delays there!  Please pray that his Ukrainian passport comes in on Wednesday so we have the chance to be home on Christmas Day.  We know God can do a miracle to make this happen and we trust Him with all the details.  And please, please pray for our family as we just begin to adjust to having Toby with us.  He is a treasure.  But he is a challenge, too.  I knew he would be, because he is full of energy and spirit, which I love.  But we need to get home as soon as possible...to Josh, to our home, to a regular routine.  He needs structure and boundaries and it is hard to provide it all by myself...with sick boys, having been in a foreign country for a month!

Yesterday afternoon we took a short walk back to the square near our house where they have a large Christmas display and Kinder Egg exhibit.  All four of my boys have been enamored by Kinder Eggs, so they loved riding the small train, seeing the lights and displays.  It really was beautiful.  Having the beautiful domed churches in the background, Christmas decorations everywhere - it is breathtaking.  But I feel so distanced from Christmas right now...so much more on my mind.

My mother reminded me that the very first Christmas must have felt much the same way for Mary.  Travelling, surrounded by strangers, dealing with a major life change....so I'm trying to savor those kinds of insights the Lord is giving me during this Advent season - so unlike others I've had before.  I actually came across the verse Luke 1;37 in one of my daily Advent readings, "For with God, nothing shall be impossible."  I really hadn't considered that it was part of the Christmas story.  The angel himself spoke these words to Mary when he told her about her cousin Elizabeth being with child.  Those words meant something entirely new to me this week when I read them.  With Him, nothing is impossible.  Getting Toby's passport on Tuesday is not impossible.  Making it home on Christmas is not impossible.  But whatever happens, I know He is in control and is directing each step.

As of right now, it looks like the earliest the passport will be ready is on Wednesday.   Since the Embassy is closed on Christmas Day and the weekend, we absolutely would need the passport done on Wednesday to have our final visa appointment on Thursday.  There are no humanitarian flights available until the 26th.  So many things could change.  Please pray that my heart would not become complaining in the midst of this.  I am so, so tired.  My boys are tired.  We are running low on cash and $50 a day for our apartment is draining our funds quickly.  The longer we stay here, the more expensive it is.  God can move mountains. I have faith in Him.  Please pray that I can be strong for my boys and show them joy in the midst of trials!

This may be the last blog post until we get home.  Not much going on in the next few days, and I dropped my camera and it is not working right.  So, keep praying and I will try to post when we get safely home!